TO START
FAILURE AND SUCCESS: do you start or not
The terms self sabotage, behavioral dysregulation and imposter syndrome are terms that rise synonymous when referring to why we freeze or don’t act on things we want.
There is a word for it. FEAR.
Sugar coating it in these ‘terms’ is a serendipitous way of articulating to our brain — you’re scared. But no one is scared…right? I have a dysregulation or syndrome, it’s fine.
When I was growing up, I was pretty much good at everything. Sports. Social engagement. Staying motivated. Work. Play. All except turning my homework in. Afraid it wasn’t good enough — or good enough for me. Self sabotage, in that I thought it was never complete, so I could never concede to myself as ‘done’.
This started as I entered high school. I never had a problem before — ever. I always saw things through and completed them to the best I could. Never looking back. Always moving forward.
- note: There are some things you have have to write or say out loud to bring it to fruition as if speaking it into existence, then bringing the next ‘thing’ to light.
I distinctly remember an event of words as I moved into the beginning of my four years in High School — “you’re not good enough…”
Four words that started the beginning of a spoken paragraph that changed my life. I didn’t realize it then, but 2 decades later it was sparked from the past and has antagonized my being ever since.
I can think back to a multitude of times, through exquisite opportunity, I let options and ideas slip through into blackness. The void of Fear. The void of Not Being Enough. The void of success and deserving it. ‘Void’, being used as the all encompassing chasm of entrenchment that sucks out the life and never gives it back. A black hole.
1 week ago. I had the epiphany of this. Then remembering many bits of correspondence throughout my life, I pieced together the thousands of conversations I have had with others in the same ‘black hole’.
Now, I am trying to crawl out.
Change my mindset.
Trying to take back that ‘no fear’ mentality and move forward into what possibilities there are in front of me! What I can seize from behind me and incorporate into net-positive motivation, building and growing.
We are animals, just like our dogs. Thriving off of positive affirmation and building from it. We don’t do well accepting that slap in the face or mentally draining disruptive negative actions and words — in the moving forward positively, mannerism.
We also live in a time of harsh actions. Where people thrive off lies, deceit and chaos. We don’t build-up — we gorge on others’ less than positive actions. We feed on it and then cast actions back into the mass like never ending water torture.
It’s no wonder we stay harbored in our own ‘darkness’ and never fill our minds with light. We can’t. We are surrounded — until we choose not to be. Until we grip what it is that is holding us back and tell the IT — GET OUT.
Those ideas you’ve had to inspire thousands. Those plans you have drawn up sitting on your desk to solve that problem. Those steps that you have lay out to mitigate one of your company’s massive issues.
TELL FEAR TO TAKE A BACKSEAT. Better yet….Get, the …. out of the car. Then never look back.
If you are reading this. Start.
